The Cheetah Girls, Aristotle, and the Meaning of Friendship

When the Cheetah Girls sang their iconic 2006 song “Amigas Cheetahs,” they emphasized that friends are “for life” and are there at all times. While it is unclear whether or not Aristotle would blast this song on repeat were he alive today, he would most likely agree with the song’s sentiment. In Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics, he dedicates two books to the topic of friendship. Within this portion of the text, Aristotle defines true friendship as coming about through extensive time together, pleasure accompanied by goodness, and mutual virtue. 

First, Aristotle repeatedly mentions that forming close friendships take time; intentional, extended exposure to one another and communication are key to building a true friendship. Aristotle outlines this as necessary in a “complete friendship.” In such, it can be inferred that a true friendship simply cannot be formed in a short period of time, only the “wish for friendship arises swiftly, but friendship itself does not”(1156b32-33). Aristotle makes this distinction to acknowledge human nature’s desire to form friendships quickly while true friendship can only be found in time. The emphasis on how true friendship must be developed over time is shown in the idea that friendships dissolve if “absence lasts a long time” (1157b11-12). Acknowledging the interconnectedness of time and friendship, it stands to reason that “one must acquire experience of the other person and be in the habit of living together” for one to truly come to understand another person to the extent complete friendship requires (1158a14-15). For this knowledge to be of any value, one must also understand the connection of intimacy to time. The more time one spends with another person, the more they can build this intimacy associated with close friendship. Aristotle’s belief that true friendship can only be built over time is both valid and helpful in discerning what true friendship is.

Aristotle also noted that successful companionship must have some degree of pleasure involved. To put it simply, Aristotle states “people do not become friends with those in whom they do not delight”(1158a6-7). Following this idea, it can be understood that one must see another person as delightful to want to develop the friendship. Because having a true friendship requires spending significant amounts of time together, it is understandable not to make friends with unpleasant people. However, having a friend solely for what they offer as far as pleasure is a dangerous thing, veering closely into a friendship of utility. Aristotle identifies finding a person pleasing as necessary for a complete friendship, yet warns against loving a person for pleasure because “he who is loved in each case is not loved for himself but only insofar as he is pleasant” (1156a17-18). Instead, he says pleasure should be accompanied by goodness in friendship. He writes that those who seek what is pleasant “ought to seek out the sorts of people who are good as well, and further, good for them themselves” (1158a26-28). Goodness is crucial and characterized by seeking the interest of the other and mutual pleasure. Aristotle helpfully asserts that pleasure is a good thing only insofar as it is accompanied by the goodness of seeking not one's own interest but the interest of their friend; nevertheless, pleasure is important for true friendship.

Finally, Aristotle describes true friendship as something that only exists between those of virtue, “for those who are friends on account of their virtue are eager to benefit each other” (1162b6-7). Companionship between two virtuous individuals is a selfless friendship and one that actively seeks to fill one another’s needs. Not only is a virtuous friendship characterized by seeking the best for the other, but virtue is also shown in their ability to improve and correct one another. True friends should become “better by engaging in activity together and by correcting one another” (1172a12-13). The idea of virtuous people seeking friends who are likewise virtuous is understandable. Because a virtuous, decent person prefers to grow in virtue, they surround themselves with others who appear virtuous and with them alone form true friendships. Aristotle revisits this idea and says, should one friend “remain the same, while the other becomes more decent and in fact greatly surpasses him in virtue,” it is exceedingly difficult for their friendship to remain intact (1165b22-23). He clearly explains that complete friendship does depend on virtue. 

In Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle describes what it means to be a true friend amidst many other issues that face all humans in a practical sense. He sagely offers cautions and advice regarding what true friendship is and states that these complete friendships “are likely to be rare” because people rarely make the effort to fulfill the qualities of this sort of friendship (1156b25). Aristotle’s thoughts regarding friendship are more than words from an ancient philosopher with no use to a modern reader. The advice is helpful in identifying true friendships today. His conclusion that quality time, virtue, and pleasure working in harmony with goodness are necessary components to a successful friendship ring just as true now as they did at the time of his writing. 

with love always,

olivia combs