“It is Finished” For Real this Time

To borrow a phrase from William Shakespeare, “parting [really] is such sweet sorrow” (2. 2. 199-200). I have heard Shakespeare’s line in Romeo and Juliet more times than I could very quickly count, yet I have never felt the weight of the enduring goodbye so fully as I now feel it. How do I say goodbye to something that has meant so much to me? How do I adequately express my abundant gratitude for a program that has offered me so much? How do I let go of something that I will always hold with me? I will do so with a sense of sorrow for what I am losing and a sense of sweetness for all I have gained. Leaving the Great Books Honors program is hard–Virgil leaving Dante level hard; however, it is also reuniting with Beatrice level joyful because I know that I have gotten my “head [a little bit further] into the heavens” via the soul and mind enriching nature of the program (Chesterton 13).

One of the chief aims of the Great Books Honors program is to cultivate spiritual growth that activates the soul in both philosophical and practical ways, and I can attest to the resounding success of that aim. When I think back to the version of myself who entered Great Books I, I am struck by the difference I see in that version of myself and the one who is typing this paper now. The differences are subtle, but prominent to me. I can see how the same defining characteristics are present in the two Olivias, yet I can see how those traits have been refined towards the golden mean through my spiritual growth. The Great Books Honors program has refined and refreshed my soul in many ways, the first of which to discuss is the most recent–the retreat.

The Great Books retreat is for GBV students as they reach the end of the course sequence. After having attended the retreat, I can see why. The entirety of the Great Books program serves to draw students toward the heavens and closer to the presence of God. Retreating with a diverse group of individuals striving for the same spiritual summit pointed me towards God by revealing how the Christian faith truly incorporates Pascal’s “three ways to believe: reason, habit, inspiration” while also demonstrating the need to do so both individually and in community (Pascal 103). On the retreat, we engaged our reason to grow spiritually as we conversed using the Socratic method and dived into deep spiritual issues through the assigned texts, as we do in class every time we meet. We also practiced spiritual disciplines–or habits–on the retreat such as setting aside time for personal reflection and meditation. Participating in group walks in the evening and morning nourished the body and soul, and it is a spiritual habit that I am now convicted to grow in. Our cohort was also tasked with reading spiritual writings and asking God to inspire within us a heart that reflects those readings.

Not only did the GBV retreat function as an opportunity to grow closer to God, but the GBV course itself also functions the same. I knew before the semester started that the final GB class was entirely Christian authors, unlike the other classes which featured a mixture of believers and nonbelievers, but I did not know how impactful the texts would be in my own spiritual journey. From Athanasius to Bonhoeffer to Lewis to Nouwen there is not a text that did not force me to look deep within myself to examine my own sin and standing with God. Through the texts I have come to understand and appreciate what the Desert Fathers wrote in saying that a monk “should always be weeping in his heart” over the sin not only in the world around him but in himself (14). Perhaps the greatest spiritual lesson I gained from the final course is the one that allows me to transcend the compunction of the monks to fully embrace the Father; I learned that, despite my resentment, pride, and wandering, my Father “cannot wait to give [me] new life, life in abundance” (Nouwen 111). By Nouwen’s depiction of the Father, I am reminded of what Lady Philosophy tells Boethius in the Consolation of Philosophy when she says that “love [holds the] pieces in place, love for each other and love of the good” and describes that the firmament only stays firm because “the love that gave it a start [flows] back in grateful return” (141). Applying Lady Philosophy’s words to Nouwen’s point, what I have learned is that I have a Father who gave me being as an act of love and who, not only calls but, welcomes me back to Him by the same love.

The Great Books Honors program has offered me an opportunity to grow in my faith and reason and means by which I can understand that the two must remain firmly tethered to one another. Growing in reason cannot exist outside of growing in faith; Nietczhe may have “reasonable arguments”, but reason apart from truth benefits nothing. Truth cannot be divorced from the Truth-Giver–God. I am thankful that I learned how to engage my mind in an environment that understands that the mind is only a small part of the individual and the soul is worth far more.

My time in the Great Books Honors program has come to an end. The thought of never participating in the classes that shaped me again is heartbreaking. I may mourn now but “joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5 ESV). I know my Father’s love will mend my heart’s wounds as I continue to engage in the Great Conversation and the Greater Conversation that is His Word.  

Works Cited:

The Desert Fathers: Sayings of the Early Christian Monks. Trans. Benedicta Ward. Penguin, 2003.

Boethius. The Consolation of Philosophy. Harvard University Press, 2010. 

Chesterton, G. K. Orthodoxy. Sam Torode Book Arts, 2010.

ESV: Study Bible: English Standard Version. Crossway Bibles, 2016. 

Pascal, Blaise. Pensées and Other Writings. Trans. Honor Levi. Oxford University Press, Oxford, 2008.

Shakespeare, William. Romeo and Juliet. Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2011.